the umbrella academy as things my friends have said

Klaus: imagine the sixth sense but the twist is “I fuck dead people

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Luther: I’m too straight for that

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Klaus to Dave: Legally it’s not gay if you say “no homo”

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Anyone looking at Five: wow, that is one angery white child

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Five: I’m either an actual sociopath or the clingiest bitch ever

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Reginald: sex is for sinners

Klaus: good thing I’m an atheist